Wednesday, November 05, 2008

From my hospital bed

So I've been in the hospital since Tuesday with a lovely bout of pancreatitis (and no, it was not brought on by the sit-ups). I'll probably be here until Friday. Sigh. If you think I meet strange people on the streets, you should see the gang I hang out with at the hospital. I've learned a few things since I began my stay here:

1. I finally realized that the nurses do not offer prizes for patients who politely decline pain medication all day long. I've already got the IV in, so I finally agreed to let them add some fun stuff to it.

2. By far,the most dangerous thing in this hospital that I've been exposed to is The Home Shopping Network. For those of you that haven't bought me my Christmas present yet, I need the Mighty Mendit. I NEED it. (And for those of you who are familiar with the Princeton Medical Center, yes, I finally did break down and pay those misers $4 a day for television access. I wouldn't have needed it had they allowed me to access Hulu).

3. My roommate is a sweet, little, elderly Asian woman who doesn't speak a lick of English. This poor woman has had to put up with some interesting nurses. Here's a conversation I was privy to earlier today:

Nurse: You can use this when you need the bathroom, Mrs. X.
Silence.
Nurse: YOU CAN USE THIS WHEN YOU NEED THE BATHROOM, MRS. X!
Silence.
Nurse: USE THIS FOR POTTY.

I wanted to tell her, "She does not understand English. She doesn't understand loud English, and she doesn't certainly doesn't understand loud, baby English.

HA! What perfect timing! As I'm writing this, the nurse just walked into the room and said, "SO YOU JUST POO-POOED?"

Ah, life with a testy pancreas...

5 comments:

Gwen said...

What a surprise to hear that you are in the hospital! Are you having a lot of pain? I've heard pancreatitis can be very painful, so I would indeed allow the nurses to add that fun stuff to your IV.

So, how are Sam and John doing with mom and wife gone?

Beck said...

At the risk of seeming like I am minimizing the severity of pancreatitis, that is a hilarious story, put into words quite nicely. Hope you're up and at 'em soon! What are you waiting for?

Amanda said...

Hi Gwen,

Yes, it's pretty painful--and the drugs certainly take the edge off.

John is doing a great job with Sam--we split childcare anyway, so it's not like he's in unfamiliar territory. He's a bit torn on where he's supposed to be and what he's supposed to do (hospital with me or home with Sam). But he's hanging in there...if anyone in Princeton wants to bake him cookies I'm sure they would be appreciated. :)

And yes, Becky, I've been living for these stories. They won't release me until I my blood test results come back normal, I can breath easily, and I can eat solid foods. That's the scoop.

Kari said...

I see that if you order Mighty Mendit now they will triple your order. Tell you what, if you get enough to share, I'll get this:
https://www.greenbags.com/?page=index
and this:
https://www.zorbeez.com/?cid=290308
for christmas and we can split them. I NEED them too.

Amanda said...

Oooh, Kari, I'm liking the Zorbeez. You've suggested a nice little plan here!