I really am. I'm going to Singapore for eleven days. I'm going to Singapore without John and without Sam. I've avoided posting on this topic up until recently out of fear of anonymous comments concerning infant attachment theories (which I've gone out of my way to avoid...if I don't acknowledge them they won't exist, right?).
I leave for Singapore on Sunday. I'm speaking at a conference for youth pastors and I'm preaching at a church. I'm really looking forward to this trip, but the closer I get the more I realize just how terribly I'm gonna miss my boys.
I've gone a bit overboard in terms of preparations for this trip: colored index cards posted on the wall all throughout the house providing instructions for babysitters, taking videos of myself singing to Sam for him to watch while I'm away (and as keepsakes in case my plane plummets into the ocean), and I have a freezer full of expressed milk. 342 ounces to be exact.
Sam is still on strike, by the way. My theory is that he's sensed my impending departure and he's gone into self-care mode ala I'm-going-to-reject-you-before-you-
I must confess, eating dairy and soy again will be a treat. And it will be kind of nice to not feed a baby at 3:30 am. But, oh! I'm gonna miss him!