Saturday, October 27, 2007

I'm Buying A Sympathy Belly

That's it. I'm buying a sympathy belly. You know, one of those bellies that you velcro on to your husband so he can get an idea of what it's like to carry around a 7 pound baby in your midsection.

But this belly won't be for John. John has actually been very sympathetic and sweet and is in no way in need of simulating pregnancy. This belly is for me to wear after the baby born. "Why?" you might ask? Because people are so stinkin' nice to pregnant women.

People smile at me. People open doors for me. People let me in front of them in the grocery line. People talk to me. Cars stop to let me cross the street. Salespeople carry my purchases. Teenagers love me (I don't know how many times I've been stopped by a flock of teenage girls). People speak softly and sweetly to me. Waitresses trip over their own feet to bring me another glass of water before my first one is empty. AND I LIVE IN JERSEY! Do you know how unusual treatment like this is here? Let me put it this way, if the fifty states were to compete in a pageant, New Jersey would probably not be the state to walk away with the prize for congeniality. Since I've had the baby bump, I have not found a single store who has apologized that they "don't have a public restroom." (In fact, just yesterday I was at a store that is notorious for not sharing their restroom. Nevertheless, my pregnant self was escorted to a restroom in the back of the store. Finding that the door was jammed shut , a flurry of saleswomen immediately began screaming for a large, burly man named Javier to throw his weight against the stubborn wood. Javier arrived. The door was opened. And we all left feeling very satisfied.)

I'm going to buy a sympathy belly so that a year from now, if I'm having a bad day, I can strap on my little buddy, drive to the mall, and get myself some fresh, authentic Jersey love.

1 comment:

Kari said...

Are you serious?? That's is amazing!!