Friday, July 27, 2007

Mathematics, Keanu Reeves and Childbirth: A Defense of Christin's Belly

My beaultiful and naturally slender friend, Christin, is six-and-a-half-months pregnant and is enduring insensitive remarks from people who think she should be "bigger." I've come up with ten comebacks...perhaps you could add to my list.

The Top Ten Responses to the Rude (and in my Opinion, Jealous) People who are Commenting on my Friend's Smallness:

1. "My doctor's not worried and neither am I." (Kind of a boring response, but I imagine this would be the only comeback that Heloise would endorse.)
2. "Yes, this beautiful bone structure and glorious metabolism tend to evoke a jealous response."
3. "How much do you weigh?"
4. "Pregnant? I'm not pregnant."
5. "Too bad you can't give me your spare tire to even us out."
6. "Ah yes, it's not fair. I get a killer body and an easier labor."
7. "No speak English." OR "Times like this I wish I couldn't speak English."
8. "Have you seen the movie 'Speed?' Yeah, well if I get over ____ pounds I'll blow up." (My personal favorite.)
9. Tell them how far along you are in weeks and walk away while they are still doing the math.
10. "Actually, I'm having twins." (This will really throw them for a loop...and while it's entirely false, it might be a bit fun for you.)

Any additions you'd care to make?

(Christin's blog: -- I have yet to figure out how to include links on my mac)


Annie Wright said...

Thanks for sticking up for my sister. ;o) I've tried to type up the text you want to copy and paste into your post regarding links. Let's see if it shows up properly.


If that doesn't read properly then do a blogger search on hyperlinks. Hope that helps.

By the way, congratulations on your pregnancy.

Annie Wright said...

Nope...didn't work. Welp, when you need it, just log into blogger and do a help search for "hyperlinks." That'll show you what to type in your post if you don't automatically have an icon.

Dave Gerber said...

I thought of a couple that may work.

1. Bigger? you mean like you?
2. In a couple of months I will be smaller while you will still be, well, big.
3. As much as we want to have a first grader they say the baby will be really small at first.

Hope those help :-P