Saturday, December 10, 2005

Affair-proofing your Marriage

For his birthday, I suggested John and I meet at the Steak and Hoagie Factory for lunch. John arrived before me, put in our order, and sat at a table. When I entered the restaurant a little later I noticed the woman behind the counter turned a little pale. She watched me wide-eyed as I walked past and sat down next to John who had before him a tray full of food.

As he unwrapped the hoagie we were going to share, we noticed some writing on the wax paper:

John--call me

While this was not my idea of a birthday present, it certainly explained the horrified look Lucy had on her face when she realized she had just tagged a taken man.

My friend Matt Milliner shared with us a prayer he learned from Pastor Rich Nathan of Columbus Ohio Vineyard Church--it's a prayer to affair proof your marriage (I know, I know, there's no such thing as an "affair-proof-marriage," but a "prayer-that-helps-diminish-the-chances-of-having-an-affair" didn't have as good of a ring to it).

The prayer is simply:
"Lord, I pray that "she/he" might find me unattractive."

The pastor explained that this prayer cut to the heart of an affair, which he said was not as much about lust as it is pride and vanity.

Poor John is so good looking I imagine he's having to pray this prayer all the time. I, on the other hand, am spending my free time slipping little love notes in John's pockets from Lucy! Hee hee hee.


Anonymous said...

some advice about that. I know you kid about putting the pretend love notes from lucy in his pockets. Here's my advice. Don't leave any room in your marriage for your husband to think about another woman in any sort of lustful way. You may joke and tease him about it. But your also making him think about it more. The best way is to address the issue and then move on from it, not dwell on it. That's my friendly advise. God Bless

Erik said...

(Tongue in Cheek)

I too will pray about John being unnactractive.

Seriously though, thanks for sharing.

The Cubicle Reverend said...

Wow, that is unbelieveable. I wouldn't even imagine something like that happening.

Anonymous said...


Of course, what you don't know is that John paid that girl 5 bucks to do that and look at you that way... just so you'd THINK he's more attractive than he really is.


Tony Myles said...

I remember transfering to IWU during Winter semester. My wife had already been on campus a year and a half, and we'd only been dating a few months.

In any event, I was hanging out with her in an office and happened to be sitting behind the open door. A guy came in and said, "Hey, girl!" and put his hand on her shoulder. I stood up and said, "Hey, dude." Totally caught him off guard as he spun around and saw me.

Yeah... that didn't happen again.

Nate said...


Wow - now days you do need to guard your marriage and pray more often. THanks for sharing this - a good reminder and thanks for being open.


David Drury said...

Yeah, Tony. That was a really awkward moment for me too.


Just kidding.

Tony Myles said...


Anonymous said...

I heard a wise person say one time that those most vulnerable to a sin are those who 1) are being tempted and 2)don't think they'll ever be tempted.

Be watchful for yourself as well as for your husband.

Dibs said...

Mandy, for what it's worth, I've had to deal with this for years.
I am now at the point where I just flatout refuse to let someone other than the G-woman hit on me...even Dave Drury.

Tony Myles said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Amanda said...

Actually, I was ready to give Gayle a call to glean some of her wisdom...poor woman. Thanks for being vulnerable in what I'm sure is a sensitive topic.

What's up with your picture???


Dibs said...

Gayle would be a great resource...oh what that woman has endured! Re/the photo...earlier of course, before the last bridge went in. I was still using butch wax on the hair. Whadayathink?